I experienced something this week that has reminded me of something everyone already knows.
I had another procedure done a few days ago. This time it was to put the nipples on my not so human breasts. I was given care instructions. One was to wear the guards I was given over them until they healed. I was warned to not let clothing touch them as it could contaminant them as well as press and change their position and shape. Figured I could handle that. Sounded simple.
One night I could not sleep. I had gotten used to that happening since my mastectomy so at first I did not give it any thought. Midnight passed, then 2:00 AM. At 3:00 AM I remembered saying, “Good heavens, Jesus, what is going on”, as I took a dose of Melatonin.
Ray had not realized that I had only gone to sleep about 3:30AM so at 5:00 AM he brought me coffee as usual. I thought since I was up I would remove my guards and clean the stitches. As I removed my sleep shirt I realized on the left side the guard had come undone and slipped off. I had no idea how long my clothing had been rubbing it or pressing it down. I panicked. I could tell the nipple had shifted. Of course, the doctor was out of town. I was almost in tears.
Through prayer, I was able to get to the nurse and have it checked. No stitches had been torn and everyone decided in time the position would shift back due to gravity. As I drove back to work I cried out to God for help. Sweetly HE said, “I tried to help you. I kept sleep from you thinking it would cause you to seek ME as to why you were not asleep. In fact, you almost got there. You called upon me and asked what on earth was going on. But you did not stop long enough to hear MY answer. I knew the guard was off. I kept you uncomfortable and unable to doze off. But you quickly hurled a question at me not waiting for MY response.”
Then I wondered how many other times in life had I causally asked a question without giving HIM time to respond. How often because the answer did not come in 30 seconds or less did I suffer loss?
I want to learn to take the time to sit still and listen as well as speak to my DADDY. In this new year I want to sit quietly and listen intently. There are things that not only do I need to know but things HIS heart wants to share. We have become so attached to the scripture telling us to ask, seek, and knock that we forget to wait for the response to all that asking, seeking, and knocking.
Hope to see you in the Tea Room soon,
Elizabeth